


Manners Maketh Man

by Skaea Daimonion (SkarmorySilver)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:53:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29688414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkarmorySilver/pseuds/Skaea%20Daimonion
Summary: "Manners maketh man." That was what Byleth had told the leader of the Golden Deer house that one time, shortly after he had found out about one of his greatest weaknesses. A weakness that could fell grown men and topple armies, and yet one so mundane that the number of people who didn't possess it could be counted on one hand…A co-write with Rockraverinfection on DeviantArt!
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Kudos: 4





	Manners Maketh Man

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the Byleth story I mentioned previously, though it's a little more focused on one of the other Three Houses characters lol. A good friend of mine has been producing tickle stories for the various entries in the Fire Emblem franchise (and some other series as well on the side) for a very long time, and having read a good number of them, I wondered if it was possible for them to produce one for two characters from said franchise that I've been hoping to see tickle stuff of. So much so, in fact, that I actually managed to talk another friend into engaging in an art trade with me featuring the characters in question at the start of this year (which was, admittedly, motivated in part by a certain controversial DLC announcement for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate that occurred at around that time, though we'd actually thought of the idea before said announcement). Imagine my surprise when, upon my asking my writer friend, they were willing to write a story based on the illustrations produced for said trade! Despite my originally stating my intent to just proofread, I ended up helping to co-author the story in question, since even though a lot of the writing was indeed made by my co-writer, most of the ideas were actually mine... not that that's a bad thing necessarily though, lol. I also got the permission from another artist I'm friends with to write in an artwork of his own that I figured would fit this story perfectly, too - so for this cross-post, I decided to include all three pics (meaning mine and the other two) including source and creator links at the appropriate points in this story, and credit to my co-author is also provided at the end. Go support everyone who contributed either directly or otherwise when you get the chance!
> 
> Stay tuned in a few days for two stories originally published as monthly reward exclusives on my [Patreon site](https://www.patreon.com/skaeadaimonion): a F/M one with an OC and InuYasha, and a FF/F one with three characters from the _Fate_ series!
> 
>  _Fire Emblem: Three Houses_ (c) Nintendo, Intelligent Systems

#  _**Manners Maketh Man  
** _

_by Skaea Daimonion and Rockraverinfection_  
****

_****Contains:**** */M tickling, concentrating on foot tickling but with some upperbody tickling. SFW._

________________________________________

" _Manners maketh man._ " That was what Byleth had told the leader of the Golden Deer house that one time, shortly after he had found out about one of his greatest weaknesses. A weakness that could fell grown men and topple armies, and yet one so mundane that the number of people who didn't possess it could be counted on one hand…

\---

"Remember again, class. Despite this being an exercise, your 'enemies' tomorrow are warriors of the church who have been trained personally by the Archbishop. You're all to take this very seriously."

All of the Golden Deer gave out an enthusiastic "Yes Professor," save one. Instead, he simply mouthed it soundlessly before flashing a cheeky smile to his pink-haired cohort. Both started at a rather harsh bark of "CLAUDE!" from none other than their professor, Byleth.

"Claude, would you mind repeating to me the objective of today's drill?"

"Teach, is your memory going? Tomorrow, we're all to protect you from the 'evil' church troops who are going to try and sneak up on us here at the cliff. If they take you then we'll have officially failed our tactics class for the week. Help refresh your memory, Teach?"

"Why yes it did, Mr. Riegan, but it also gave me an idea. You see, since you seem to be doubting the tactics of the monastery's troops, perhaps we should give them an edge."

Byleth turned smartly on his heel and strode away from the class as Lorenz stared daggers at his house leader.

"At noon sharp tomorrow, I will command your opponents, and Mr. von Riegan will be your commander. Should he be captured, you will all not only fail your tactics class for the week, but I'll expect to see you all doing some volunteer work as well. Best of luck to you all. Oh, and Claude?"

"Yes, Teach?"

"I'm arranging a meet with you at the library at precisely three in the afternoon. We'll have to review the necessary strategic theory if you wish to win this match. I am absolutely, _positively_ sure that as the leader of House Golden Deer, you won't disappoint me.

"Right?"

Claude's smile never faltered as the others watched their professor march out of the classroom. The rest of the class, however, responded with various noises of exasperation.

\---

“It’s not my fault I fell asleep in the sauna, Hilda! It’s relaxing in there, and I know you’ve dozed off in there a couple of times.”

“Yes, Claude, but never when people were waiting for me.”

“Oh? Cyril was all done with his chores then?”

“Claude! I don’t know what Cyril was doing…”

The two of them were out in the courtyard, the day after the exercise in question. Claude was recounting the events of the day before and what, precisely, had kept him so occupied.

“Probably whatever you told him, miss slave driver," he shot back. "I heard he was busy with polishing Lady Rhea’s favorite tea-set today so good luck getting him to take care of any of your chores.”

Hilda crossed her arms and glared at her comrade. “It _was_ her favorite tea set, at least before yesterday. Now, stop trying to change the subject! Where were you, Claude?”

“Well, if you must know, I was having a wonderful nap out by the fishing pond. I’d like you to keep that to yourself as I’ve grown fond of that little spot.”

Hilda's fists balled, and she wondered if she should go get her ax at that moment. “Great, so we were all doing extra work because you needed some extra shut-eye?!”

“Was it that bad an experience, Hilda? C’mon, Lorenz’ face alone made it worth it.”

"Don't remind me," Hilda muttered. "You and your big mouth…"

Claude bristled a little. "What? I was just giving it to the Professor as straight as I could!"

“And look how that turned out." Hilda shook her head. "So… What _were_ you doing at the pond, anyhow?"

\---

Some ten minutes later, the entire Golden Deer house had assembled out in the courtyard. Claude and Lorenz were talking some distance away from the others, with the latter looking simultaneously distraught and disappointed. But as the house leader, Claude had to delegate the various roles his peers were planned to fulfill, in preparation for the turbulent future he was certain lay ahead of everyone, so it wasn't like the rest of the students could ignore his judgment.

"Oh, quite well done, Claude!" Lorenz growled sarcastically. "Are there any more advantages you'd like to award us? Perhaps if you hurry the Professor can spare us some blindfolds?"

"Relax, Lorenz." Claude patted his shoulder with a confident look on his face. "This is an exercise that I'm more than prepared for. There's a small cave at the base of the cliff, and I'm certain Teach will try and use it to sneak up behind us. I'll set up an ambush there with Lysithea and Hilda. Then while the rest of you buy time, we'll push right through."

"Claude, do you not think they'll be suspicious when our commander isn't there?"

"That's easy. Watch!"

To the shock of his advisor, Claude stepped right out of his boots, and then wiggled the toes of his bare size 13 feet in the grass. Lorenz wasn't sure what this meant and was even more confused when Claude picked up his discarded footwear and shoved them into his hands.

"I want you to go to the outpost at the top of the hill and put these in there," he instructed. "Then have Leonie or Ignatz look for the various spots where Teach and company will likely be coming from, and let us know if they can see them. Make sure you can see them through the gap, too."

Lorenz felt his eyelid twitch. "Claude, you can't think anybody will see your boots in there from as far away as the enemy camp!"

"Shamir could, and I know she's with them. Underestimating people is a bad habit, Lorenz."

"And saying things like that is bad manners, Claude!"

"Why yes, you're right. Still, though I'm the commander and as such, I _have_ to order you to do so, especially for when we find ourselves in a _real_ battle."

He thrust his boots into Lorenz's arms with a little more urgency than usual. "I'm going for a walk in the meantime; it'd do us some good to survey the rest of the area. Got it?"

Lorenz nodded, but his expression was indignant. It was only a second before he stormed off, grumbling to himself, but Claude knew he could trust him to get the job done.

He glanced over to the cave exit he was sure Byleth's troops would use. It was small enough that they'd have to come through in a single file, which he planned to use to his advantage. But he just had to be sure there wouldn't be any alternate paths they could take.

"Plus," he thought aloud to himself as he turned and headed off in his own way, "I'll probably need to get a bit of a relaxation in before I spend my afternoon in the library to plan all this out..."

It was, indeed, a beautiful spring afternoon in Garreg Mach Monastery, or at least Claude thought so. For a while the handsome young noble had deigned to spend the day sowing in idleness—shirking his study hours, dodging faculty members, and aimlessly wandering around the campus grounds, staying aloof from the rabble of his fellow classmates. All the better, though. The less people associated with the future king of Almyra, the fewer chances they could get caught up in his schemes.

Sure enough, Claude’s feet had eventually carried him off towards a patch of woods that lay outside the boundary of the Monastery, and disappeared down a weathered trail.

Soft, warm rays of sunlight shone pleasantly through the branches of the aromatic cedar, trickling onto the narrow path. A pleasing breeze ruffled through his dark-colored hair as he took a moment to listen to the sounds around him. The babbling of a nearby creek, the rustling of trees, the odd click and twitter of a bird. It fondly recalled back memories of his carefree youth, running barefoot through his ancestral home. Though he didn't remember quite as many trees, given the mountainous climate…

If it were up to him, Claude would rather spend his days in the comfort of nature than having his nose buried in a dusty old tome and listening to the vague ramblings of his teachers. As it was, though, he had to be sure there weren't any potential shortcuts the enemy could make, which was why he was doing a little exploring... or at least, that was what he would later claim.

Claude continued down the trail, not really focusing on anything specific, until he finally came to a sizable pond that he and some of the other residents at the Monastery had visited on just a few occasions. With crystalline blue water and a blanket of verdant lily pads, it seemed like a good spot to rest after such a stifling morning, and the young noble was honestly in the mood for a quiet soak. So it was that he sat down by the water’s edge and he began rolling up his trouser legs - though not before checking to make sure no one else was there.

Seconds later, Claude’s smooth, olive-skinned feet were finally exposed to the fresh mountain air. They were broad, but remarkably boyish and youthful, and unspoiled of any rough callouses. He wiggled his slender toes absentmindedly around on the soft green grass before easing his dusty soles into the cool water. A long sigh escaped his lips as Claude blissfully slumped back against a convenient tree as the clear sky overhead let the sun bathe the ground with a comfortable warmth. He then casually placed his hands behind his head and soaked in the sunshine, only barely noticing the tall rocky outcrop on the other side of the pond, its precipice forming an overhang a good nine feet above the water.

For the next few minutes, Claude sat on the shore, quietly indulging the gentle rhythm of the flowing river that fed into the pond. He soon felt his eyes grow heavy, however, and it wasn't long before the young noble drifted into a peaceful slumber. Within moments the sounds of his soft snoring filled the air.

Claude’s bare feet hung suspended, swaying languidly through the clear water like a kid on a high chair, and before long, they had attracted some interesting company.

More specifically, he was about to receive the attention of a little bluefish, which had just become keenly interested in his deceptively soft ankles. Every time they swung near, it would dart forward as if to take a quick nibble, but stop abruptly an inch or so away. Then, as his ankles swung back, the fish would flick its fins and retreat. After a while, though, a few more colorful fish soon took notice of the handsome pair of seemingly disembodied feet, and they eagerly swam about his sleeping insteps.

Claude lay there dozing as the fish swam about his soles. Some had come to investigate the new intruders in their pond. Others had come to look for prey but for all now they were enjoying the pleasurable experience of simply swimming in these formations. Claude meanwhile dreamed of riding upon a traditional Almyran wyvern, soaring through the skies and dipping his bare feet down into the fluffy white clouds.

The fish closed in and as fins gently brushed along his dextrous toes Claude giggled in his sleep. In the dream Claude giggled and chided his mount for slipping surreptitious nips at its rider's feet. In reality the fish swam in tighter and tighter formation until his feet seemed to bear scaly halo's.

The fish scattered suddenly however as a great shadow at the bottom of the pond awoke. The Goddess Messenger fish rarely swam up this fast, but something about this new bait in the water was calling to it. In his dreams, Claude saw something big slipping about in the clouds beneath his alabaster scaled mount and his brows wrinkled in concern. When it finally slipped up and it's whiskers brushed along the undersides of Claude's toes, he awoke with a start. A rather undignified noise escaped his lips as he pulled his feet from the waters and watched the huge shadow retreat back into the murk.

For a moment he sat there, his feet hanging just an inch above the water. He was quite sure there was nothing to drag him under in this particular pond, but something had indeed touched his feet. And it hadn't bitten him either, which was a good sign.

What would it do if he put them back in, though?

"Eh. Can't hurt to try…"

Another second later, his feet were once again being cooled off below the surface, this time wiggling his toes about in an enticing way. He hoped that whatever was down there, if it had ill intentions he'd be quick enough to dodge its first strike.

He placed his feet gingerly back into the water and sighed contentedly as all his little friends came swimming back up to meet him. In seconds not only were they flitting about between his toes but a few were coming to nibble his soft soles and sculpted heels as well. They flitted up and around so quickly that the feeling of the little waves the minnows were kicking up made him cover his mouth to giggle as they licked up his arch.

Claude closed his eyes and put his head back as he just focused on nothing but the feeling of those little sensations teasing his nerves. It felt so good it was almost...fishy. He snorted at his own humorous thought or maybe it was because of the little guppy giving a fish-lipped smooch to his heel. It blew air as it inhaled and if Claude didn't know better he'd swear he was catching a raspberry from a fish. His feet wiggled ever so slightly at the attention and re-captured the attention of the king of the pond. 

The goddess messenger, a great catfish that had been around since the age of dragons, made its way surfaceward. When it popped it's head up it was able to slide a whole three of Claude's toes into its mouth thinking they were tasty worms. Claude wheezed at the sensation of not just that but also the way it's two fuzzy "whiskers" probed his other toes.

Several more smaller fish decided at that point to copy the example of the larger one a mere second later. Flitting and darting around the rest of his toes and the soles of his feet, they began nibbling and stroking along the length of the arches and heels.

Claude resisted the urge to kick his feet and scatter the fish, but the increasing ticklishness made it harder by the second to do so. "W-wahahait ahahAHAHAH! I WASN'T REHEHEHADYYY! EEHEHEHEH — HHH — HHHAHAHAH!"

The king of the pond however wasn't the type to share. It reared about to chase the small fry away and with a sweep of it's tail brushed throughly riiiight down Claude's sole making the House Leader snort in embarrassing laughter. He thought for a split second about yelling for help from Hilda but stopped himself with the realization that she was half as likely to tickle him herself then render aid. He flexed and wiggled his toes in the water and the realization that there was one adventurous little silverfish lodged between his baby toe and the one adjacent made him laugh almost as how much that actually tickled.

He snorted at the attention as more of the little kept sneaking nibbles to his soles only to be chased away by the big fish who ruled this small pond. The messenger fish swished its tail to try and push away it's competitor's only to ticklishly simulate a brush upon Claude's sole and allow the fish on it's opposite side to dart up for some quick nibbles before it rounded back on them. Claude was clutching his sides at not just the tickling but also this situation's absurdity, but was far too curious to pull away from it as he wanted to see what else would happen.

He saw one little guppy swimming towards him with the stem of an owl feather that had alighted on the pond, clutched in its mouth. The plume of it broke the surface. Followed by another. And another... Claude's head played a satirically menacing theme as he let out an exasperated "Oh, c-come ohohohon!"

Before he could defend his feet, a thought popped into his mind. Why stop them? He was laughing his head off and having a great time. These slippery little buggers probably had more down there. Let’s see what they could do!

To Claude’s undying shock, he asked, and the goddess gave.

Slimy tendrils came up from the murk and began sliding along his soft and slightly pruned soles. As the feathers made contact and started teasing most of the other spots on his feet, the feelers played between his toes and caressed his heels, reaching for all the sensitive spots on his feet.

"WAHAHAHAH OOHHHH! EEEP! EEHEHEHE MMMM, FFFHAHAHAHA YESSS, MORE, MOHOHOHORE…!"

Claude went from laughing to moaning and back at the unexpected switch in methods from the pond-dwellers. But even so,, he never pulled away but instead dug his fingers into the grass as they worked deep into his arches. He started to wonder if a long dip at the pond would be good right now…

Then a noise in the distance started Claude and chased his new friends away. No, not an angry Lorenz finally realizing he wasn't coming back — the bell of the clock tower chiming three o'clock sharp.

"Wha-?! Crap, gotta get to the library!"

Pulling his feet out of the water, he stood up and bolted — though not before making a mental note to wipe his soles on the courtyard lawn before stepping back inside the monastery.

\---

Claude stared at nothing in particular, thinking aloud. "So, has anyone ever actually looked down in that pond? What's really at the bottom of it? Because I know what I felt and it wasn't something that SHOULD be there. What exactly is Rhea keeping down there?"

Hilda raised an eyebrow, struggling to belive what Claude had described. "Claude, you probably just fell asleep and dreamed the whole thing."

"Hilda, I was as awake as I am now."

"Well now, you're starting to dream if you think I've forgotten what we were originally talking about. That is to say, why you were at the pond when you should have been scouting for the drill that we were doing BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"Hilda, Hilda, Hilda… I'd already checked the previous day, actually. I know the place like the back of my hand, so I simply told Lorenz what I'd already learned from the start." Claude shrugged. "What's wrong with a little me time every once in a while?"

"That's my line," she grumbled, pouting. "So, what happened when you found the Professor?"

"Well…"

\---

Ten minutes later, as Claude entered the library, he noticed immediately how empty it was. The faint noises filtering in from the windows to outside told him that the other houses were still doing combat practice, as per the rotation schedule Byleth had established. He was quite sure that even though he had tactical expertise on his side, the Black Eagles would be an even more formidable threat based on the magic they had at their disposal.

His toes curled instinctively at the thought. The last practice duel he'd had with Edelgard had led to him flopping around on the courtyard lawn, laughing himself sick for reasons unknown. He'd been scolded by Byleth for not taking the match seriously back then. But perhaps Teach would be less confused and annoyed with him if he'd actually gone into the woods and tracked down Edelgard… and the pair of large olive-skinned feet sticking out of the fallen log she was reclining next to, every toe tied back to a little protruding branch as a nest of millipedes, countless little pointy legs and all, explored every inch of his hapless size thirteens.

Speaking of Teach… Where was he, anyhow? He should've been here to see him two minutes ago...

Claude may have been a bit of a dawdle, but he wasn't stupid. The usual advice would be to sit and wait for the other person to come, but if Byleth was already here, he could easily be elsewhere in the library. Obviously leaving the building was out of the question, but what about searching for him INSIDE the library?

And that was how a rather long line of wet footprints came to stain the floor of the facility.

"Teach? You around here? You said I've gotta meet you here, oh, some ten minutes ago…"

A noise from somewhere nearby caught his attention. Only then did he notice the wheeled ladder leaning upon one side of the aisle to his right… and how there was someone up on the ladder, sans footwear, reaching for a book up at the very top on their tip-toes. He hadn't even realized that Claude was there.

The opportunity was too good to resist. He wanted to get back at Edelgard for their previous match, but perhaps he could use a bit of practice.

Without making a sound, he crept up until he was standing right at the base of the ladder. The other man was so busy trying to reach for that elusive book that he didn’t even think to look down.

At least, not until he felt a pair of fingernails begin dragging themselves up and down his tightly stretched arches, causing him to let out an undignified yelp and grab onto the shelf itself to avoid losing his balance.

That startled laugh made Claude smirk a little in petty satisfaction. But said delight turned into panic (albeit internally, and hidden with impressive skill), when his victim turned their head to look at him. It was none other than the professor of his Golden Deer house, one rather annoyed Byleth Eisner.

His eyebrow raised, the Professor took in the sight of his pupil holding his boots in his hands, wet footprints behind him, before finally choosing his words.

"Mr. von Riegan, you're late. You were to have reported to me for detention twenty minutes ago."

"Just gimme a sec, Teach, need to dry my feet off."

" _Au naturale_ again? I think you can do that on your own time. Lend me your aid NOW, and don't dawdle."

"But Teach, I-"

" _Now_ , Mr. von Riegan. I was looking for a book on the Adrestian wars that I felt would provide useful theory for our session, but it also has a passage that is quite relevant to this, about how they would handle prisoners. At least I was, before you… _startled_ me." He glanced down at his still unshod size twelves, his heels raised off the ladder rung as high as they could go.

Claude made a mental note to get a spare cloth from the mess hall for his feet before speaking again. "You found it, though, I take it? So does that mean we can, y'know, hang out sometime?"

Byleth's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "If you put it that way, yes. Though there's also a sizable stack of other reading material I left at the front desk which I expect you to carreEEEK!"

"Reading material?" Claude had reached up and wiggled his index fingers into each of Byleth's stretched soles once again, causing the instructor's voice to jump up an octave and a half _mid-sentence_. A personal record. "Seriously, Teach? Don't give me that crap. I'm _much_ more game for learning on the job!"

Before Byleth could protest, Claude placed his thumbs at the top and slowly dragged his nails up the length of Byleth's big soles towards his heels, eliciting more laughter from the surprised teacher. "YAHAHAHAHAHA! PFFFF — C-CUT — HHHH HEHEH — CUT IT OHOHOUT, RIGHT NOHOHOW!!"

The professor had to lean against the bookcase to keep from falling over as every instinct in his body told him to give Claude a swift kick to get him off him. He had no desire to hurt the lad, however, even if he was now fluttering his fingers along the tops of Byleth's feet in a way that was threatening his balance. "I-I — EHEHEHEEP! — I SAID ST-STAHAHP! VOHON RIEGAHAHAHA!"

Claude instead returned to scritching three fingers each along Byleth’s taut soles, looking a bit smug. "Well? Why should I?"

The sound of the ladder wobbling just slightly gave Claude his answer. Only now realizing that his teacher was in a more precarious position than he’d originally suspected, he gasped in alarm and quickly withdrew his hands and raised them in a gesture of surrender. "Oh, right. Sorry, Teach."

The look Byleth flung over his shoulder at him would've peeled paint. " _Clearly_ , you still haven't taken the hint to steady your tongue — _or_ your hands — unless you have something decent to say or do. I would've told you that sooner, but you already hear enough of it from me — I'd rather keep this just between us, rather than letting the whole class humiliate their prestigious leader."

"Aw, not _you too_ ," Claude groaned, wisely choosing to just observe as Byleth _finally_ managed to retrieve the book he was looking for. "Lorenz certainly had nothing nice to say about me after you assigned us that team-building exercise in the first place."

Byleth felt his eyelid twitch as he descended from the ladder. "Well, then. Since you were being as much of a hindrance as usual, we'll have to take the more physical approach as you yourself requested, and use visual aids for the disciplinary part of our session. Come with me, and don't bother finding your shoes."

"Wait, will I still have to bring the—"

"A- _hem_." Byleth pointed in the direction of the front desk.

Claude gulped, now looking every bit as nervous as he felt. "I'll take that as a yes.”

\---

"Wait… What does that mean?"

Claude looked at Hilda with an exasperated expression. After he'd gotten so far into relating this story, being interrupted with such a dumb question was rather infuriating.

"...Hilda, what do you think it means? I tickled him, then he told me to meet him somewhere with no shoes? Like c'mon, what did you think was gonna happen?"

"Yeah I know what it seemed like but he could've been planning something else. He seems like the type, Claude."

"Hilda, _I'm_ the planning type, and let me tell you that I'm the type that can see when someone else is and that Byleth is not. He probably would have dragged me over there himself if he didn't have to attend tea with Lady Rhea and Catherine."

"What did you do, then?"

"Well, he left his boots back at the library because he was running late, so I thought I'd take advantage of that. If I could get him to make a big enough scene, I figured there was no way she wouldn't punish him and I'd get off scot-free."

"So what happened, then?"

"Well within the context of what'd happened so far, it seemed only right to tickle him back. So of course that's what I planned to do. I figured I'd sneak up on them at their tea party and get him good. Y'know, like, hide under the table and—"

"Well, we all know how that turned out."

"Yeah, his teatime with Rhea was cancelled, so he used that time to invite me instead. I don't like having to repeat that, but… I know you as well."

Hilda blinked in confusion. For obvious reasons, Claude decided not to elaborate.

"But more on that later. I didn't even get to my session with the Professor yet!"

Hilda had a carefully neutral expression now, carefully hiding her hands behind her back, so no one but her noticed her fists balling. "Alright. Carry on, then…"

\---

"So, let me get this straight," said Claude. "We spent an entire hour pouring over all the relevant study material for tomorrow’s exercise, including a couple of surveys of the surrounding hills that I’m pretty sure were done a half dozen times already. That's fine of course, but… Why did we have to go all the way to the fishing hole specifically?"

Byleth gazed over the calm water, inspecting each of the lily pads dotting the surface. "It's one of my favorite places to relax. I figured it'd be good to take our minds off of things while we went over our battle strategies, and it also simulates the settings you would likely encounter in combat, and quite convincingly I might add."

"I can see that," said Claude. "But if you took me somewhere this specific, I'm guessing you had a purpose in mind for the session _besides_ pouring over books and mapping the landscape." Then a thought occurred to him. "It's the discipline part, is it?"

The two of them had, in fact, been seated near the cliff overlooking the same fishing pond where Claude had earlier in the day been relaxing his tired peds. As it happened, Byleth had managed to find his boots, and during their survey he’d also discovered _Claude's_ , much to the latter's embarrassment; both were set aside next to the book pile they'd gone through in its entirety. (Byleth had advised Claude that a high vantage point needs cover to work, which was not argued against this time.)

"Ever sharp, are you?" Byleth resisted the urge to snort in amusement. "Do you know that book I'd been about to retrieve when you found me, Mr. von Riegan?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, the one with the Adrestian military history. I'll definitely consider something like how Seiros defeated Nemesis in Imperial Year 91. The Battle of Tailtean, I believe. What made you bring this up?"

"Well, not that exactly, but good on you for putting effort into your studies. However, there was another section as well, concerning the interrogation tactics used by that particular nation. One in particular interested me."

Claude stiffened a little, but remained silent, waiting for the other metaphorical shoe to drop.

Byleth's gaze shifted over to the edge of the cliff. "Hmm. I don't have any rope or wooden stocks on me at the moment, but I do have an idea. Claude, you have a habit of hanging upside-down by your legs to impress or startle people, is that correct?"

"Yeah, I do. I learned a few tricks on how to keep the blood from going into my head back home. Had a lot of practice on it, partly for training as a soldier and partly for the fun of it."

"So, I assume you can still do it under duress?"

There was a beat of dead silence. Then the Golden Deer leader, for all his pragmatic cunning, audibly swallowed. "Wait, you're not _seriously_ going to—"

"Look, I'm not ignorant by any stretch. I found out about the true nature of your little episode from that one time after Hubert confessed the next day."

"Wait. You got him to fess up? How— Oh, wait. Let me guess…"

"That isn't important right now. He did say though that you have some very impressive staying power even when subject to torments as intense as what he put your feet through. I was hoping you could, well… _demonstrate_."

Claude felt his heart sink, but then he looked into Byleth’s eyes of beautiful sapphire, taking in the look not just of stern admonishment, but of curiosity and admiration. The stoic professor was actually impressed? Sure, it was one of Claude's most personal secrets that was being exposed to his professor, but… this _was_ his wonderful, handsome professor bringing it up. He had confided in a number of things with him that even Hilda didn't know. He could trust him to keep this between them, right?

"Well… uh… I normally don't—"

"I know, Mr. von Riegan. I know. I promise, though, that I will keep this between us and us alone. As long as you let me test your resolve as much as I feel is needed—" 

"No no, Teach, you don't have to worry!" Claude stood up suddenly. "I'll do it. I know you just wanted to get me back after I got you in the library, so… well, fair is fair!"

He turned to face the edge of the cliff, and carefully moved towards it until his toes were at the edge. He leaned over it a little, to see that it actually jutted out a bit over the water, so he wouldn’t smack his head on the face of the cliff once he caught himself. Good.

He took a deep breath, spread his arms out, closed his eyes… and let himself lose his balance, tipping forward as though diving into the pool. At the last moment, though, his ankles caught on the rocky precipice, so he was now hanging upside down from the edge of the cliff, his hair braid and cape seeming to stick straight up from his perspective. Needless to say, his large, unblemished soles were completely exposed… right in front of Byleth. Both of them knew all too well what was coming next.

"So, uh… you're still not mad at me for what happened back at the library, are you, Professor?”

Byleth peeked over the cliff, now laying on his stomach. "A little, admittedly. But we can call it even once I finish paying you back." Then his head withdrew, leaving him unseen, but Claude could already feel his breath now blowing a little against his naked soles.

"Hey, Teach c'mon, it was all in good fu-UUUHUHN AHAH!" Byleth had started with just one finger tracing circles around Claude's large sole, but it was more than enough to send the latter into giggling fits.

"Well, this is in good fun, too, isn't it?" Byleth replied, shrugging. "I hope you're enjoying the conditions down there, because we'll be at this for a while."

"PFFFF YOU THIHIHINK?!"

"I don't think." Byleth now wiggled three fingers into the arch of Claude's foot. "I _know._ "

Squealing and squirming from his position below the cliff edge, Claude was unable to see Byleth’s fingers dancing upon his soles, but feeling them was a whole different matter. "P-PROFEHEHEHSSORRRR! AHAHAH— ARE YEHEHEHE — ARE YOU _SUUURRRE_ THIS IS PAHAHAHART OF THE LEHEHEHESSONNN?!"

"Worry not, Claude," replied Byleth as he lazily swirled a finger along the soft heel of the Riegan heir's other foot, while still keeping up the tickling with his other hand. "This is simply a demonstration of why you shouldn't be walking around with no shoes on all the time. You never know when an Adrestian spy might be waiting."

"NO KIHIHIDDIHIHING! THEY'RE EHEEHEEVERYWHERE! AHAHAHA!" Clutching at his head with both hands, Claude managed to lift his head and shoulders up so he was briefly seeing right-side-up, tears streaming down his face. He had to admit that Byleth wasn't exactly wrong there — Who knew if Edelgard might actually be one such spy? If word of his ticklishness got back to her empire…

"Besides, Claude, it's just not polite," Byleth added, snapping Claude back to a very ticklish reality. "You need to learn that being courteous costs nothing."

__

_"[AT: A Most Unorthodox Lesson](https://www.deviantart.com/shadow-aspect/art/AT-A-Most-Unorthodox-Lesson-827509231)" by [Shadow-Aspect](https://www.deviantart.com/shadow-aspect)_

The professor started wiggling all five of the fingers on his left hand over his pupil’s tender left sole as he said that, and Claude's laughter got louder. "T-TEEEEHEHEHEHEEEEEACH! TH-THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEHEHEANT WHEN I AHAHAHASKED IF WE COULD H-HAHAHANG OUT SOMETIIIIIIME!! EEEEEHEHEHEEEEEEEP!"

"Eh, technicalities. You haven't yet asked me to stop, though... Are you trying to tell me something?"

"M-MAHAHAHAHAYBEEEE?!"

"Well then, let's use this as a teachable moment." And now all ten of his fingers were playing up and down those large soles.

"OH COME OHOHON!" Claude shrieked from down below, grabbing at his hair and twisting this way and that. "YOU GOTTA TURN EVEN THIHIHIS INTO A CLAHAHAHASS ASSIGNMEHEHENT?!"

"You did say you prefer a more 'on the job' approach," Byleth replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "Let's say you're camped on a hill and I am charging a force up from the **foot** of it. How would I do it, Mr. von Riegan? Would I simply charge my way up?" He ran a finger right up Claude's arch towards his frantically wiggling toes that seemed to be trying to escape. "Would I split my forces and try to pincer your poor encampment?"

Two fingers this time. They scampered around the sides of Claude's brown boats and made him wiggle like a fish on a hook. "Or would we wait down there to dig in and take you in with open arms?"

Claude was getting dizzy at the feeling of the professor drilling his fingers into his ticklish arch and then sliding his pinky finger up towards his heel. But if he was going to keep the rest of the class from facing extra chores tomorrow, he knew he had to concentrate.

"Think carefully, Claude! The wrong move could lead to the whole Golden Deer house having to scrub every tile in the mess hall." As if to emphasize this, Byleth raked his fingers along the length of his student's arch in a manner akin to a brush attempting to scour a particularly persistent stain. "So, how would you position your classmates to avoid that?"

"WHOA WHOA, SLOW DOHOHOWN, TEEEHEEAACH! I'M TRYING TO THIHIHINK!"

"I suppose it can't hurt for me to offer some advice." Byleth continued stroking his nails up and down and around his student's size thirteens, methodically highlighting all of their most ticklish spots as though plotting a pathway on a map. "Among your classmates, Raphael's arguably the strongest. He could take this canyon between your toes and defend it himself, though Hilda might be useful as added help. And we could also have little Ignatz hiding behind the ball of your foot — erm, a nearby hill well or a bluff facing away from the enemy encampment. As long as it's close to Raphael, then he'd probably feel safer."

"BWAHAHAHA W-WAHAHAIT! I THOUGHT THE WOODS WEREN'T IN THE SHAHAHAPE OF MY FEEHEHEHEET!!"

"We're improvising, Claude. Your stomach would have worked but improvisation is king in battle. Cootchie-cootchie — I mean, pay attention."

The verbal backpedaling was not lost on Claude even in his hysterical state. Byleth was, apparently, enjoying this immensely. He was usually the kind to keep his emotions to himself in public, and not without reason, but here he was loosening up more than he would care to admit. This ticklish detention hadn't been part of the plan, exactly, but his plot to get Byleth to open up, albeit just a little, had worked perfectly.

And admittedly, Claude himself would remember this experience vividly enough that the know-how being imparted on him with each teasing stroke would come to him much more easily. Moreover… he actually didn't mind this. Being subdued by Hubert had been a show of power, meant solely to humiliate, but Byleth was imparting critical thinking skills even while he was extracting his student's helpless laughter.

 _...You know what?_ he thought to himself. _I'm down for learning like this more often._

"And in the meantime, it might actually be better if Hilda positioned herself in an ambush spot over near the heel of your other foot…" Byleth now started scritching the area where the arch met the heel, sending Claude into convulsions.

"EEHEHEHEEEK! NOHOHOT AGAHAHAHAIN!"

"...and then maybe have Leonie or Lysithea take up a backup position at the outside arch."

This went on for a few more agonizing minutes, wherein the professor methodically laid out positioning suggestions, tactical options, and viable routes for maneuvering, adjusting the demonstration for each participant depending on their strengths and weaknesses. As expected from the fiendish mercenary-turned-teacher-slash-tactician, not a single spot on his pupil's soles was spared.

Claude was definitely learning, alright, but he was also starting to feel a little lightheaded. Okay, correction: _very_ lightheaded.

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, I GET IT! IF YOU W-WANTED TO TICKLE ME, TH-THEN YOU DIDN'T HAHAHAVE TO T-TREAT IT LIKE A C-CLAHAHAHASS DEHEHEMO!!"

Byleth's eyes narrowed, and he stopped tickling a moment later. "Well, if you say so~"

"Wait, what—?!" Claude was given almost no time to wonder. Byleth suddenly leaned his head in and then blew a raspberry onto the arch of one of his soles, before proceeding to lick and nibble at the ball of the other while letting his fingers do some additional exploring.

\---

In the Black Eagles dorm, Bernadetta suddenly heard a distant _shriek_ from a nearby window that sent birds flying in the distance. She could only quail just a little deeper in her private study corner, quickly deciding not to find out what had made such an ungodly sound.

\---

It was two more minutes of the nibbles and licks before a screaming, nigh-insane Claude finally began losing steam. "Okahahay fine! You wihin!"

"Win what? Isn't this for fun? You didn't really think that this was some kind of scheme did you? I haven't been tickled since I was small but now here we are having a blast with it. I do so love fishing Claude so I guess this has all been my scheme to fish for somebody who's as interested in it as I am."

"Thehehn let me dohohown! I-it's already been tehehen minutes!"

"Ahhh, but Claude I feel as if you're just humoring me. Maybe once more with a bit of gusto? Here let me get you in the right headspace." Byleth ran his gloved fingers down Claude's feet and pulled back the toes.

"As you wish."

"Wait, no, not — AHH!!"

Claude plummeted towards the pond for but a split second… before Byleth's sword extended and wrapped around his slender ankles. It would have lowered him down slowly, but Claude just couldn't resist a final quip.

"Hmm. You just wanted to catch a handsome fish, huh, Teach?"

"....catch and release."

Byleth turned away at the splash and headed back towards his quarters, expecting to hear from a very soaked house leader later that day. 

\---

"Do we sleep in bunk beds, Claude?" Hilda asked suddenly.

Claude gulped again, smiling nervously. "Uh, no? Why?"

"I'd like to try doing what the Professor did while you were dangling off that lookout ledge. With a bunk bed. I'd visit the fishing hole again, but it's too much of a walk—"

"Hilda, the students don't sleep in bunk beds. They get their own rooms." It was Byleth who spoke this time, his voice almost casual.

Claude whipped his head around to see his teacher sitting right next to him. "You haven't said a thing until just now! Why didn't you fill her in about your side of the story sooner?"

Byleth smiled again. It seemed rather out of character for him to do so, at least from Claude's standpoint, but then again, he at least had reason to be just a little smug. _Anyone_ who found out about this secret weakness, no matter who possessed it, would surely never let them live it down for the rest of their lives.

"I know this is a rare sentence for me to say, but it was a lot of fun watching you and Hilda react to one another as the story went on." Byleth shrugged. "The secret is out. You will just have to deal with that being the case, and hope that it never gets used against you in a _real_ battle situation."

"I gotta hand it to you, though, that trick you used to get me to remember everything for today's practice drill was pretty damn brilliant," Claude replied to him. "If it was just us doing reading, we wouldn't have won _as_ thoroughly as we did back there."

"I strive for quality, you know," Byleth replied proudly.

"Then what explains Rhea going into conniptions a few hours later?" Hilda asked suddenly. Then she paused. "Wait. You said you invited Claude to tea as a celebration, right?"

"Mmhmm." Claude nodded, pouting. "All I intended was to tease him, just a bit. I didn't mean for it to get out of hand."

"And how did it, exactly?" Hilda crossed her arms and glared pointedly at the two of them.

Byleth's eyes shifted a little. "I suppose I did indeed get a little… _enthusiastic_ , all things considered…"

\---

"Claude, I have something to ask of you. Have I provided your favorite tea?"

"Leicester Cortania, Professor. You sure are thorough."

"Well, did I sound a little like Seteth when I asked you back there?"

"A bit, why?"

"Normally, sending out invitations is his duty. But, well, seeing as you managed to exceed my expectations during today's practice run, I figured I'd do the honors myself."

The two of them were in the usual courtyard gazebo where Byleth would invite his peers to join him for tea and small talk. There was one big difference compared to previous tea parties, though: the normal table had been replaced by a short-legged one whose cherry-blossom-pink cloth actually touched the floor, forcing the two to eschew chairs this time around.

Claude shrugged. "I learned from the best, Teach." He paused. "And what, if I may ask, is the purpose of the new table?"

Byleth sipped his tea, seated on his knees and heels, his toes pointed forward as though ready to stand and fight the second anyone interrupted their tea time. " _Substitute_ table, Mr. von Riegan. If you want to know, go talk it up with Sylvain. I can say right now though that the repairs to the original table won't be finished until tomorrow—"

Claude, sitting cross-legged on the opposite side of the substitute table, nearly sprayed his own drink onto the silken cloth. " _Again?_ What did he do _this_ time?"

"That's what I'd like to know. But that's not an immediate concern…"

"Still, having a word with him later might be good." Claude went to put his hand on his chin but clumsily missed and instead flicked the brooch that held his cloak. "Crap—!"

The ornate piece of metal fell off and both men watched it roll along the table collecting no moss before plunging off the edge.

"Hang on, let me—" Byleth moved to pick it up, but was stopped by a raised hand from Claude.

"No, no Teach! I appreciate it, but I dropped it and I should pick it up. It's only polite after all, and we both know that's important. I'll just be a second down there!"

"Ahhh very well… I suppose some of this is finally starting to sink in for him. That's excellent."

Byleth contentedly sipped at his tea and reflected on his teachings being observed. Even while patting himself on the back, though, he suddenly noticed Claude being absent for longer than usual with a twinge of suspicion. He would only notice too late that Claude, having retrieved his brooch, had gotten an idea, and was now lying on his belly behind him wielding two of his favorite weapons of war (which he'd also brought with him in case of an ambush).

"…I should have known."

The archer twirled the arrows between his fingers and let his smugness show, before he grazed its feathery shafts along Byleth's taut arch in his kneeling position. The mercenary sputtered into his tea at the sensation. He wanted to shoo Claude away from his helpless feet but found his movement limited by his position. Trying to stand up led to the table being struck by his knees which rattled the expensive tea set quite a bit.

"Ahaha! Claude, stohop that at once!"

"What was that? Sorry, Teach, you kinda stuttered there! Couldn't quite get the meaning! Did you say keep going? I thought you'd like this!"

"Ehehehe, still going to tehehease me, ahahare you?"

"Well, you were the one who invited me to this tea party. Or should I say, _tease_ party?"

Now twirling the arrows to act as brushes, Claude proceeded to move their fletching up and down Byleth's taut sole as the professor trembled. Byleth was hamstrung by the table to only really being able to shoot his student a withering look at the joke, but this was further hampered by the redness in his cheeks at the attention his big ticklish feet were again getting from the Riegan heir.

Claude reached forward and slipped a finger into play amongst Byleth's toes while the arrow continued its work, and Byleth broke down into unbecoming snorts. He brought his fist down in frustration unheeding of the faint sound of splintering wood from beneath it. The table held but barely under the attack from somebody known as the "Ashen Demon" for a reason. Quite the difference from the tongue-tied adult now having an arrow graze his soles. Byleth tried to hide his face in his hands after a saucy compliment from von Riegan about how good that blush looked on him had him far too embarrassed to conquer the blood rushing to his face.

_"[Manners Maketh Man](https://www.deviantart.com/podfrog/art/Manners-Maketh-Man-828174068)" by [PodFrog](https://www.deviantart.com/podfrog)  
_

"My, Professor, you are strong in the field of battle, but I think I have found your weakness. Now this is what I call arch-ery!"

"Whehehere are your mahahahanners, Claude?! I th-thought you promised to lahahay off the puUUNNNSS! WAHAHAHAH OH MY GOODNEHEHESS!!"

"Well, Teach, you're one to talk, seeing as you need work on your manners. It's not very proper to shake your tea around like that. And anyway, you weren't exactly a slouch when it came to puns during yesterday's session."

"T-Tohohouchehehe!"

Claude thusly busied himself pretending to dust the professor's big strong soles while the hapless educator tried to regain control of himself so as to properly chastise the little shit playing with his feet. The feeling of a pair of lips on his heel though was the game point. A now rather frazzled Byleth managed to get to his feet, unwittingly upsetting the table in the process, and turned on a startled Claude.

"Don't you think you can get away with this!" he teased as he suddenly pounced, giving his student no time to react before his fingers dug into his ribs.

The crash of the table and tea set went unheeded, as did the discarded arrows, as Byleth sat upon Claude's back and dug his fingers into the archers pits through his shirt. The heir of Leicester howled and tried to scramble from beneath Byleth but found that his teacher was easily overpowering him. 

"Anything to say, von Riegan?"

"Yeheheah Teeheeach, this is the pihihits!"

"Well, I'm going to make this worse for you. I warned you about your _pun_ -ishment! Or is that a _pin-_ ishment?"

"WAHAHAHAHAIT! WHAHAT HAPPENED TO P-PROFEHEHEHESSIONALISIHIHIM?!"

"You forced my hand, Mr. von Riegan. I've largely had to rein it in for the longest time to avoid emotional conflict, but you've managed to bring out the demon in me, and now you'll have to pay the price~"

Byleth proceeded to dig hard into Claude's pits to the point where he dragged him up from under him and into his lap. Claude shrieked and writhed, struggling to break free, but the tickles made it too difficult to concentrate.

The Almyran princeling was totally at his mercy, or so Byleth thought. He'd underestimated his charges flexibility, and a second later, he caught a beautiful brown foot to the chest for it.

Byleth found himself sprawled out on the ground, and soon Claude had jockeyed himself atop the greenette and was taking two handfuls of his dear teacher's abs.

"AHAHA WAIHIHIT DAHAHAMMIT CLAHAHUDE!"

"Claude? My how fast your losing all that prim and properness! Why professor I just don't think you have the stomach for this whole tickle fighting thing at all!"

"OHHHHOHO, I'M NAHAHAT ABOUT TOHOO LET THAT ONE GO UNPUHUNISHED!"

Claude yelped as his professor pinned his arms to his sides with a big bearhug and rolled over with his new captive once more.

"Wait, Teach, technically you just made a pu-"

A tremendous _*PBBBPPT!*_ was Byleth's interruption as he buried his lips in Claude's chest and let loose with a world-shaking (To Claude) raspberry. The Golden Deer leader kicked his feet in protest but couldn't really do a thing in Byleth's arms like that. Above the waist, he was powerless as Byleth came back for seconds, thirds and fourths.

He would have probably gone for dessert as well if it weren't for a single skilled big toe sliding down his bare arch. Byleth's whole body shook as he tried to regain his composure and keep the sneaky snake of a sniper in his grasp, but Claude was a footsies pro, and compared to him, it was _Byleth_ who was the student. Soon, not only was Claude free of Byleth's grip, but sitting comfortably in the grass and tracing his toes along his teacher's skyward facing sole as the other man snorted into his hands in mirth.

Back and forth they went like this for a few minutes more, until eventually they simply keeled over in exhaustion. Wiping sweat from his brow, Byleth rolled onto his back to breathe deeply and regain his composure. An equally fatigued Claude thought that looked enjoyable, and so the two lay happily together in the grass, idly cloudwatching side by side.

"You know what, Professor?" Claude panted, gazing fondly at Byleth.

"Hmm?"

"You really do need to get out more."

Byleth then did something completely unexpected: he burst out laughing without any physical stimulus. The cause was not tickles this time, but sheer unadulterated amusement. Claude briefly wondered who this man was and what he'd done to his teacher, but then he decided not to worry about that. And so the two men lay there, laughing to their hearts' content, gazing up at the clear blue skies overhead.

And then a shadow swept over them. That was no cloud, they both knew that much.

"Are you _done_?"

Byleth and Claude both sat bolt upright, their heads whipping around to look at the source of the voice.

_Lady Rhea._

She looked down at the wreckage of not just her prized tea set but also the overturned table itself, as behind her, Catherine tightened her grip on her sword, fuming.

Claude looked at Rhea, then at the shattered teapot, then back at Rhea. As the horrific realization hit him, he side-eyed Byleth to see that the professor's pupils were pinpricks and his face white as chalk.

"We," the leader of House Golden Deer said in an uncharacteristically timid voice, "are _so_ screwed."

Byleth could only nod.

\---

It hadn't even taken an hour for a furious Thunderbrand and her partner (who'd materialized as if from nowhere!) to drag Claude and Byleth struggling across the monastery to a newly built pair of stocks. Catherine had been fit to be tied as she set to actually tying them into their restraints. Claude had wanted to ask what these were even here for but had been silenced by a meaningful look from Shamir.

"I'm here for YOUR protection, so don't anger her," she'd said calmly as she locked the Professor's wrists in place. The pair had stepped back and looked over their handiwork proudly before both producing an extremely floofy pair of feathers that had quickly been placed between the men's trapped toes. That they'd simply left them there was quite concerning but they hadn't had long to wait and wonder as that had been the beginning of a veritable parade of all their fellows at Garreg Mach stopping in to tease their helpless feet.

_"[stocked warriors](https://www.deviantart.com/alan-underfoot/art/stocked-warriors-854816566)" by [alan-underfoot](https://www.deviantart.com/alan-underfoot)_  
  


Whether it was the smug tickles of Lorenz as he chided Claude about this being his own doing or the jealous tickles of Leonie as she lectured the Professor on what Captain Jeralt would say if he could see his son in such a ridiculous position. Smiles never left the lips of the two as even gloomy types like Marianne and Bernadetta stopped by to give their big feet a work over with that feather.

Cyril had been the last to visit saying that he was just reserving a spot for someone until Claude had decided to try and appeal to some kind of heritage the two shared and really peeved the errand boy off. That had led to the Almyran showing both of them just exactly what HE knew about those Adrestian military interrogation techniques. He'd been skilled enough that Byleth wondered if, had he been a student proper, he'd have gotten full marks on a practical exam on the subject.

No sooner had he left, having had his fill of laughs at the expense of the two men, when—

\---

Hilda gave her superior a deadpan expression. "Just get to the point, Claude.. _Why_ , pray tell, are you telling me about that last part?"

"Because Hilda… well, I really wanted to know something…"

"What?"

"Well… why do we even HAVE these stocks?!"

"Oh! What do you think I was DOING all day? I was here having some fun with Edie and Sylvain! Lady Rhea had these built specifically for Silly-vain as punishment for him breaking that table!"

"That again? How did he even do that?"

"Oh that's the juiciest part! He decided to get frisky with some footsies to none other than Catherine at tea time! If it wasn't the stupidest move he'd ever made, I'd say it was the bravest!"

"So then the table broke."

"Yep! When she put him right through it!"

"So wait, why was Edelgard here?"

"Uhhh, that one I can answer, Claude…"

"Professor?"

Byleth snorted. "Yes. I assume she was here as punishment for the same affair that led to me spending that time with Hubert."

"Bingo!" Hilda clapped her hands in mock congratulations. "Yeah, she was pretty eager to tell me anything I asked when I got between her toes. They were SOOOOO little, Claude! Anyway, that's why Lady Rhea had Shamir here to escort Catherine. So that her and you two couldn't cost the church a third table today!"

"That sure is an unbelievable story, Hilda" Claude shifted in his position, glancing at her with discomfort. "So, once more… WHY AREN'T YOU LETTING US OUT?!"

Indeed, Hilda had been standing next to Claude throughout his entire explanation… and Claude and Byleth were still in the stocks, while she was well within contact distance of them with less-than-altruistic intentions.

"Simple. Because I'm still smarting over how you insulted me."

"Wait, what did I say?!"

She pouted, her hands on her hips. "Y'know what was it you said earlier? Oh, 'I don't like having to repeat that, but… I know you as well.' Look, I may look like an airhead, but I’m not _that_ stupid. And honestly?" She held up a scrubbing brush, a look of pure sugar-coated evil on her face. And then another. "You _reeeeeally_ shouldn't have said that while I've still got _both_ of you at my mercy."

Claude's eyes widened. "No no wait, I take it back, I'm sorry!"

"Please, Hilda, he means it!" Byleth added. "We've already had enough for today—"

"Oh-hohohoho~!" Hilda made the kind of contemptuous laugh and gesture only a woman of noble bearing could pull off — such as a deceptively astute axe-wielder with a minor Crest of Goneril. "Not even close, boys. Let me show you how formidable I can truly be!"

Byleth and Claude would have hugged each other in mortal terror if they could. As it was, they both started pleading like scared young boys as she closed in for the kill.

"Hilda, you're better than this. Please be merciful!"

"Yeah, what Teach said! We can only take so much—"

"Oh come on, now! You're both big boys! A few tickles won't kill you. I'm sure the professor will survive having his pretty toes twiddled."

Hilda did just that a second later. Byleth shook his head in hysterical desperation from the Goneril heiress's assault. "GahahahMIHISSGOHO-STAHAHAP!"

"Awww but Professor, I'm just doing a bit of hands-on experimentation! Gotta see if all mercenaries are as ticklish on their toes as your Professor Bigfoot! Coochie, coochie, coo!"

"NYAHA MIHIHISS GOHOHNERIL, STAHAHAP! THE TEASING MAKES IT WOHOHOHORSE!"

"No no, that just won't do your going to call me Hilda here. Go on! Or do you wanna lose your toe privileges?"

With that, the bubblegum haired devil bent Byleth's toes back by the bushel and scratched the sensitive stems. The powerful warrior howled and pulled at the shackles but Hilda just dug her hand into Byleth's defenseless pit until he calmed down. She idylly traced a finger up and down his chunky sole as she repeated her question.

"Soooo what were you asking me misteeer ticklish toes?"

"Ehehe please! H-Hilda! Me-mehercy! No more!"

"Oh? Well that's just not on the menu. I didn't see you over here asking for mercy when soooomeone left Hubert and Edelgard in here last week. I'll just play with my dear House Leader for a while while you catch your breath, Professor."

She turned to address said leader. "How about it Claude? Ready for your turn?"

Even though he'd discovered a newfound love of tickling and being tickled, Claude still turned a little pale as Hildy's wiggling pink nails edged ever closer to his feet. He clenched his toes as best he could, but with nowhere near the strength of Byleth it was easy for Hilda to take both big toes and bend them back with one hand. She ran a knuckle down his sole as he trembled and snorted.

"You know, Claude, your feet sure are soft for how big they are! Why there's only person I've ever tickled with feet this plush. I do love tickling Cyril now, though, but everybody knows Almyran's feet are remarkable in their quality, almost like silk."

The vengeful pinkette let go of Claude's toes for a second but they let themselves go slack, and she dug right back in. She made it clear that Claude's soles were her targets and that his toes had better stay out of her way.

"HIHILLDAHAHA STAHAHAPP!! NAHAHT THOSE SPHOHOHOTS!"

"Why, Claude von Riegan, your feet are almost as soft as an Almyran's! Why if I didn't know any better…"

"DAHAHAMMIT, HIHIHILDA!"

"You two are ridiculous. You've caused all this trouble, and yet you're both still pretending this isn't exactly what the two of you wanted. You broke Lady Rhea's favorite teapot, got the entire Golden Deer class extra lessons, and most annoyingly of all, _made me work!_ So you two are just gonna sit here and take it until you admit that you both just wanna tickle each other cross-eyed!"

She paused and withdrew just long enough to let the panic sink in, raising her hands and wiggling her fingers menacingly. Before the two of them could even get a word of protest out, however, she'd descended upon all four ticklish soles, and started caressing one of each of the lads' pairs.

"MIHIHISS GOHONERIL, PLEEHEEHEESE!"

"COHOHOME OHOHON, HIHIHLDA!"

"You two whine and wiggle all you want. Cyril's doing my chores so I've got all night. Maybe you two want me to follow you to choir practice tomorrow and help you hit the high notes?"

She pinned both boys big toes back with her thumb and began digging a nail into the base of the digits stem making them both shake in their bonds. Byleth's face was starting to get red so Claude took the initiative as he felt Hilfa trying to pin a second toe back as well.

"FIHIHNE, HILDA! YOHOHU WIN! I DIHIHD WANT TEACH TO CATCH ME BUHUHT I THOUGHT IT'D BE SOME ALOHOHNE TIHIME! DAMMIT HIHILDA, I SAID YOU WIN!"

Hilda hummed smugly as she'd glid a nail along Claude's sole wickedly while he tried to pour his guts out. She was glad to be winning and normally this would be somewhat cruel but Claude clearly loved it. Heck, he was saying it right now!

"Mmm-hmm, that's very sweet, Claude. Professor, do you have anything to tell your favorite student?"

"F-favorite? That's quite the assumption-YOOW!"

A sharp pinch to Byleth's arch had interrupted his blushing denial and he scrambled to correct to avoid another.

"Okay! Okay! Whatever you say, Miss Goneril-AHAHAHA OKAY! HIHIHLDA!"

Hilda pulled back the index finger she'd placed between Byleth's baby toe and it's neighbor for a good rolling before giving it a blow of satisfaction.

"F-fine! Claude...I-I'm also r-rather fond of this ga-game we play. I'd be ve-very happy of it could co-continue though."

"What? Nobody's telling you, two boneheads, to stop! Just do it in private and stop dragging everybody else into your affairs! Jeez, if you want to have a tickle fight, just do it in your rooms. I'll let you two out of here only if you promise to go do that right now~"

"Wait! Hilda the professor and I-"

"Oooh? You wanna stay here, Claude? You do know that Choir practice is almost over right? Why isn't this right on the path from the Cathedral to Professor Manuela's room? What a strange place Lady Rhea put you two…"

Claude blushed at the information but Byleth went wide-eyed. The professor pulled at his bonds wildly.

"Fine! Yes! Claude and I will retire to my room right away, Hilda. Just let us go and we promise. Just quickly! Please, Hilda!"

"Seems like the Professor agrees. Claude? How about you?"

"Okay, okay! Alright, Hilda, I'm sorry! We did get kinda carried away. Please let us out and we'll see to it this never happens again!"

"Oh, Claude! Why how polite of you! You're becoming quite the little lord. Very well but first as Manulea herself likes to say. We need a crescendo!"

Hilda scrubbed the brushes up and down both men's feet in rigorous fashion with a look of utter concentration as she tried to match the pitch of their laughter. She adjusted her instruments, going higher into Claude's arch, tweaking along the side of Byleth's foot until she believed that she had both boys perfectly singing along with each other for one final high note.

It was a few minutes more of teasing, ticklish torment before the wiry-bristled brushes _finally_ retreated. To the two captives, though, it seemed like another hour.

They both sagged in their places, gasping and panting. With a half-amused, half-apologetic chuckle, she planted a final ticklish kiss on each reddened sole ("AAAHAHAH!" "HILDA, ENOHOHOUGH!") and finally patted the stocks with a reassuring "There, there."

There was another ten seconds of silence save for the sounds of exhaustion. Then Hilda spoke again.

" _Now_ can I get you outta there?"

" _Please_ ," whimpered Byleth.

To her credit, Hilda worked fast. Within less than a minute, she had released the ragged pair and given them their footwear. But just before she could shoo them away, she paused. "Oh, by the way?"

"Hmm?" "Yes, Ms. Goneril?"

Unexpectedly, she gave each of them a quick hug. "On behalf of the entire Golden Deer house, thank you, both of you. Thank you so much! We couldn't have won today without you, Claude, and you learned from the Professor amazingly well. Hopefully, we won't have to go through that again, but… I'm sure you both will go on to do great things."

The boys looked at each other and exchanged fond smiles.

"And I hope we can do so together," Claude added. Byleth looked slightly flustered but didn't argue.

Footsteps in the distance alerted them at that point. The two males got the message that the look on Hilda's face told them, and hastily left her alone with the stocks. They were already gone by the time Manuela arrived.

"Ah, Ms. Goneril." The instructor side-eyed the now empty wooden restraints. "I assume our two friends learned their lesson?"

Hilda smiled knowingly. "Yep. In more ways than one."

As for Byleth and Claude, they'd made it back to the entrance to the dorms by the time the sun had started dipping below the horizon. As they stood at the door, Byleth dared not to look his student in the eye.

"Teach?" Claude glanced at him. "Something wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just—"

"Spill it, Professor. You liked it all more than you'd admit… right?"

Byleth snorted in amusement. He was caught out, but this was _Claude_ talking, so for once, he didn't mind. Finally, he spoke.

"Thank you, Claude. I can see now that the two of us have been quite silly as she said. However, you still had to risk your… well, not your life _per se_ , but certainly your dignity—"

"Yeesh, don't remind me!"

"—to avert a complete disaster, multiple times in fact, and for that I thank you. That level of selflessness will do you well once you claim Almyra's throne."

"Teach, you can thank me by going easy on me next time. That said, though… I liked it, too. A lot. I mean, it was _you_ , but—"

"Spare me the excuses, von Rie— erm, Claude. Honestly. If you wanted us to have a go at each other, all you had to do was say so."

Claude suppressed a giggle. "Hindsight has perfect vision, I guess. But our next little meeting will probably have to wait until I finish my assignments for the week. I owe it to the rest of the Golden Deer, and I gotta set a good example."

"Well done, Claude. You're a fast learner. I'll give you that." Then, without warning, he poked Claude in the ribs.

"EHEHEY!"

"Though all things considered… I may have to get you back for the tea time debacle. I'm willing to wait until you finish your homework, but—"

"No worries. Like I said, though, going easy on me would be good next time."

As they strode into the dorm room entrance, Byleth gave Claude a sincere smile. "I'll make no such promises. That said, it's only fair that we both try our best. It would only be polite to Hilda and the rest of your house, after all."

"Well put, Teach." Claude smiled back, winking. "It's like you yourself said once: ' _Manners maketh man._ '"

**Author's Note:**

> This story was a joint effort by myself and Rockraverinfection. If you want to see more of their work, check out [their DeviantArt website!](https://www.deviantart.com/rockraverinfection)


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